Days With Debi

I Believe

2010-05-25T16:08:00.011-04:00

I believe…

... that Jesus died on the cross for my sins
…that a hot cup of coffee tastes much better when someone else makes it
…that there is a reason I am here, that my actions can make a difference
…in the power of our words and their impact, regardless if spoken or written
…in forgiveness, especially to those who you do not want to forgive
…in first impressions, they are important
…that our families are of ultimate importance
…in believing there is only one Higher Power and it's Jesus Christ
…in true love and that it can be both pragmatic and romantic
…that life is too short not to enjoy it
…in being honest, trustworthy and accountable
…in the power of shared prayers each morning
…in order to be true to others, one must be true to themselves
…that everyone needs to relax and let loose occasionally
…that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger
…in quiet time alone doing whatever I enjoy
…in the joys from snuggling and cuddling
…that if it is meant to be it will be, in time
…that reading is the access to other worlds
…that everyone deserves a second chance
…in the power of intuition, it’s rarely wrong
…in do unto others, as you would have others do unto you
…that bonds of love can be just as strong as blood ties
…in giving for the sake of giving, because it’s the right thing to do
…that trust can be broken by one small lie at a time
…that most hurts can be mended with sincere apologies
…that the power of prayer is the strongest thing on earth
…that a good night sleep is restoring
…in a good cry, and a brief pity party are needed at times to help heal
…in letting go of old pains, and remembering only the good times
…in time spent staring into the ocean waves is good therapy
…in love at first sight and that it can last a lifetime
…that life is all about what you make it
…in apologizing when wrong, and not being stubborn about it
…that we are stronger as one than apart
…that we hurt when the one we love is hurting
...that time spent with children can change your view of the world
…that miracles happen every minute each day
…that my daily quiet time with God is very important
…in having good days if you want them bad enough
…in the strength of women who are true friends
…in weekly date nights to keep romance alive
…in meaning what you say, and saying what you mean
…in tender romantic kisses shared with the one you love
…in picking myself up again whenever I fall down and starting over
…in never forgetting where you came from
…that with time all wounds can be healed, no matter how deep
…in long hot bubble baths no matter how old we get
…in being honorable, our name is something we should take pride in
…that laughter is one of the best medicines
…in genuine unconditional love

What do you believe in?

Contagious Attitudes

2010-05-23T23:05:00.017-04:00

Something became evident to me during a lunch date with several girlfriends. Within minutes I became aware of something really important that I need to pay more attention to. I witnessed firsthand just how contagious our attitudes really are, and how they can greatly affect and influence those around us. Regardless if they are positive or negative, they are infectious.

Have you ever noticed when you are in a cheerful mood and watch a depressing movie, listen to a few sad songs, or spend time with a difficult person (you know the type) that you soon begin to feel your emotions shifting and you start to feel unhappy? Or those times when you’re feeling gloomy and you surround yourself with cheerful music, or positive, happy people, soon you are unexpectedly uplifted and your sad mood lightens. I saw this happen just by the few words that were spoken and how suddenly the frames of minds of many were changed.

This happens to me sometimes too; my good mood can get dragged down rather quickly especially after being around someone who is down and out and being pessimistic. This is why I don’t like to write entries that are unenthusiastic in my blog. I want this to be a place where I can be encouraging and positive, yet vent if I feel the urge to do so.

I asked myself today if I really listened and paid attention to the way I speak. Do you lift others up, or are you snappy with your words? I realize that I have been guilty of doing both at times.

What drove this point home to me was reading the words ---for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks - Matthew 12:34. What attitude do your words reflect? It’s true that what comes out of our mouths has to do with the condition of our hearts and I want others to know what is truly in my heart by my words and attitudes.

I am going to avoid the sad songs, depressing movies, and wasting my time with negative people. Instead, I am going to load my iPod with upbeat, praise and worship songs, surround myself with only positive people, and pay closer attention to my words.

In light of all the storms and trials that are happening in our family, after spending time this week with my funny son and inspiring husband who are always joking around how can I possibly be sad?

The Knot Prayer

2010-05-02T18:49:00.009-04:00

Dear God,
Please untie the knots
that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
the can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,
may nots, and
might nots that find
a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,
would nots and
should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all, dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind
my heart and my life all of the am nots
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought
that I am not good enough.

Amen.

Author Anonymous

Storm Chasers

2010-05-01T18:14:00.021-04:00

Storm chasing meteorologists astound me at the risks they are willing to take tracking hazardous weather phenomena. They do this to keep the public informed and warned of impending dangers while doing their jobs.

Being raised in the Deep South, I am familiar with the usual springtime tornado seasons. I learned quickly to pay close attention to weather conditions, and seek shelter whenever imminent storm warnings were issued. Today we woke up startled by the sounds of the wailing civil defense sirens and immediately began to take necessary precautions.

Our eyes were glued to the television for the continuous updates as surrounding communities received major damage and deaths. Funnel clouds were spotted nearby and developed into multiple twisters with torrential downpours, high winds, constant loud claps of thunder, and streaks of lightening seen dancing and lighting up the darkened skies.

Today brought back reminders of another frightening situation we experienced last weekend when my husband and I were caught in the mist of another killer tornado. I was driving down the highway when unexpectedly we heard the warning sirens of a looming tornado. Immediately I drove to the nearest building, where we took cover inside a department store until it was safe to leave. From the storefront windows many watched as the skies grew darker and the swirling winds increased and howled louder as it intensified.

That particular tornado was an F-4 with winds of 170 mph that killed 10 people in Yazoo and Choctaw County, MS. Hundreds others were left homeless and numerous buildings were demolished into toothpick splinters as its strength ripped a path of deadly destruction.

I was terrified and was earnestly praying, and reciting Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid I will trust in him.

Without any doubt it was by God’s protective hand covering us that we were unharmed as the tornado’s path changed directions right before it got to us and we were spared any harm.

Not all storms in life are weather related. I know that God is always present, safeguarding and bringing us through these trials when we head the warnings and turn to seek shelter in him through prayer.

In many Bible verses, we see repeatedly that God is there lovingly providing refuge for us regardless of what type of storms we are facing, if we will only trust in him. I have found that God is the ultimate storm chaser for all of my life’s storms, and he wants to be yours too if you will let him.

An answered prayer -- Liver Transplant

2010-03-16T16:56:00.000-04:00

I have so much to write about as my beloved husband has received a

God-size miracle

and received a life saving liver transplant on March 14, 2010.

We're on cloud nine praising God for our many answered prayers.

One day I will write more about this, but for now I want to spend every minute with him. We want to respect the anonymous donor's family who gave the precious gift of life to my husband and are now grieving the loss of their loved one. We will be eternally grateful to them for this gift.

I just wanted everyone to know Eric is doing amazingly well today.

Dazed and Confused

2010-02-20T19:40:00.010-05:00

I’ve recently learned all the difference that a just few minutes and hours can make in someone’s life. Today as I sat by my husband's hospital bedside I am so grateful he is alive as I am reminded I could have easily lost him due to serious complications from the terminal liver disease he suffers from.

Eric had slept in later than usual, and I had difficulty trying to wake him. When he did, I notice he wasn’t his usual cheerful self instead he was in a very odd mood, doing things he typically wouldn’t normally do, and saying phrases that didn’t make any sense. That was another sign something was just off.

Within minutes, I detected his whole demeanor was very strange, and immediately began suspecting that he was having complications from hepatic encephalopathy causing this behavior. This can happen when ammonia levels get too high, and the bloodstream isn’t filtering out the poisonous toxins, and they go directly to your brain. I had previously learned about this dangerous condition, and knew to be observant for any symptoms as this.

Eric kept insisting he was ok, but was just extremely sleepy. A few minutes passed and he was becoming more lethargic, and his speech was slurred. Suddenly he wasn’t oriented, and couldn’t remember my name, the correct date, year or even his whereabouts.

I made the emergency call for help right then and starting praying.

A few minutes later we arrived at the Emergency Department at the hospital where an EKG revealed bradycardia, as his heart rate was beating erratically and abnormally low at only 35--39 per minute (the doctor wanted it at a minimum of 80) and his oxygen levels were dangerously low at 84. At times he had low blood pressure along with shallow respirations. As suspected his lab work confirmed that his ammonia levels were highly elevated. Below is a photo of his monitor readings.

Eric was getting worse by the minute and becoming more unresponsive. Within seconds; the medical staff began working on him trying to increase his heart rate, oxygen levels, and blood pressure. I could see Eric was fading fast, and for seven long hours he was completely oblivious to the world around him.

His doctor said he feared Eric could fall into a hepatic coma as his failing liver could not filter his blood. He explained that most patients who went into a hepatic coma did not wake up, and would not survive. He explained that at this time he was too sick to survive a transplant should one become available. Sitting alone in the hospital witnessing this was frightening. My heart broke seeing Eric being attached to the many machines, tubes and wires but they were helping him live.

I was so thankful for my cell phone, and for having friends and family members calling, texting me, while others on facebook were starting prayer chains supporting us, and keeping me sane during this difficult time. I felt so weak and helpless, but was comforted by remembering 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Even though he was non-responsive, I sat by his side holding his hand, whispering to him begging him to fight, to pull through this and praying for him. By the God's grace he did.

I am humbled and grateful for answered prayers as Eric has bounced back and has fully recovered from this episode and is doing so much better tonight. His MELD scores have increased from 17 to 22, therefore raising him higher on the transplant waiting list, hopefully getting closer to a transplant. We were visited by two transplant surgeons who explained more about what we can expect in the future.

I know it’s truly by God’s mercy that Eric is alive today. It’s been emotionally draining, and physically exhausting past few days. We’re counting our blessing and not taking a single day we have for granted. Make sure you tell your loved ones how much you love them today, as life is so fragile and you may not have the opportunity tomorrow. We are learning this first hand.

Most importantly we know that God answers prayers in our darkest hours and he is always there waiting for us to come to him.

Special Surprise on Christmas Eve

2010-01-04T01:06:00.017-05:00

Christmas was extraordinarily special this year for us thanks to an unexpected surprise my romantic husband had for us.

Unexpectedly once again Eric proposed to me on Christmas Eve and said he wanted us to renew our wedding vows. With only us in a private ceremony, we then prayed together and with tears streaming down both of our faces reread our original wedding vows to one another making a few changes by adding more promises to them. We then exchanged wedding bands again. It was a very special time for us both.

It's memorable moments like this that made the holidays this year even more memorable. A time for new beginnings. And most importantly remembering what the real meaning of Christmas is, and celebrating Jesus's birth.

We have been through so many personal trials this past year and with God's help, we’re determined this year is going to be our very best in our lives and in our marriage. It was exactly what we needed, and I am so happy Eric thought of this idea.

We spent a wonderful Christmas day with my whole family. The food, family fellowship, and the laughter from playing board games were something I will cherish forever. We missed being with Eric's family who live in PA and our holiday would have been perfect if we had all been able to be together. But thankfully we were able to talk by phone with them.

Fast forwarding to today, so far it’s been four days into the New Year, and I can not imagine what obstacles we’re going to overcome together this year and the amazing adventures we are going to have. I just know we'll do it with God's help.

I truly believe that we’re going to get the miracle of Eric receiving a liver transplant in 2010 that we’ve been praying for. We’re holding on to our faith, and believing this is really going to happen soon.

Eric's surgeon has requested that he lose 50 lbs, and so far he’s lost over 25lbs in just a few short weeks. We’ve been going to the fitness center working out on the treadmill when Eric is able. It feels good to get back into the habit of exercising again, and we’re both looking forward to being able to play golf again, going canoeing, and doing all the things that we’ve missed and want to learn how to do.

Yeah, 2010 is going to be our best year ever. We have faith!

Opened Doors

2009-11-30T11:32:00.004-05:00

To try to sum up the recent events, our lives have been a roller coaster ride these past few months. We know for certain that God works in mysterious ways. He’s opened doors that only He could have for us. We are living proof of this.

Eric’s health has steadily been getting worse over time and his physicians told us in January 2009 they believed because of the stage of his disease he had approximately 18 months left to live and the clock was ticking.

We knew that at our hospital in Philadelphia, Pa there were over 250 patients on their liver transplant waiting list with Eric’s O+ blood type ahead of him. And his specialist explained they would never be able to get him a transplant in time, and for us to consider options of other hospitals.

I was not going to give up on my husband’s life that easily. We prayed about it asking God for guidance and to show us what to do. We were clueless how to do this. There were so many questions that we were concerned about, like what would we do with our home, Eric’s work, our children and grandsons who lived nearby.

After discussing it I contacted Aetna and found other transplant hospitals they were contracted with and I began my intense homework of delving into each transplant center’s statistics, reputations, and best patient survival rates.

It was during this research I found out about the Methodist University Hospital Transplant Institute in Memphis. I found it was nationally recognized for its outstanding work and was listed as a center of excellence with Aetna.

If this hospital was good enough for Apple’s CEO Steve Jobs then maybe it would be good enough for us. So I made an appointment for Eric to be evaluated there.

Immediately his current specialist helped by staying on the phone all day making phone calls personally. We made the 10 day trip down to Memphis to meet with the specialist and after tons of tests their doctors gave us the thumbs up that they could help. This was sweet music to our ears!

His physician in PA has since transferred Eric's health care to the transplant center in Memphis where we’re expecting for him to get listed soon for a liver transplant hopefully within the next few months if all goes well. His MELD score (blood tests) have took a huge jump in the past two weeks, and this isn’t good news. It is good in the one sense that it moves him higher up the transplant list, but it also means he’s getting worse. Time will only tell. But we have faith.

Once again God has answered prayers, and opened a lot of doors for us that we could not have done on our own. Within one months time Eric has officially retired, we have put our home on the market for sale and had numerous friends and family helped us packed up our belongings, rented a 26’ moving truck and moved 1,000 miles way on Thanksgiving Day from Pennsylvania to Mississippi. The best part is that we’re now living only three short hours away from my whole family instead of 18 long hours away.

Moving was bittersweet, saying many tearful goodbyes to all of our friends, church family, and leaving our other family members was heart wrenching, especially to leave our two grandsons five-year old Zachary and six -month old Owen.

There have been so many highs and lows we’ve experienced this past year, and it’s brought us closer together and we are celebrating every day we are given. We have so much to be thankful for, and I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving.

The Sweetest Gift

2009-09-16T18:57:00.015-04:00

If someone asked you, what was one of the kindest, most thoughtful things that anyone has ever done for you that you have never forgotten, what would come to your mind?

A reminder of this came to me as I was going through the contents a box of items I had stored away, I began reminiscing through the memories years ago, and a treasured reminder came back to me.

As a timid child, in the first grade my teacher was Mrs. Nicholson. She made it a point to assign each of her student's seats in the classroom alphabetically. My seat was the last one on the last row in the very back of the class, and her rule was there would be no changing of seats.

Our Art and Coloring activities time were immediately after lunch each day. Mrs. Nicholson would call us forward, row-by-row one at a time to select our crayons of choice from the large plastic gallon ice cream bucket that served as a communal crayon container. Because of the appointed seating arrangements, I was always almost the last child to choose mine.

Imagine the disappointment day after day when I selected my crayons knowing those of us who were the last in line only got the leftover broken crayons, while those who went before us always got the better ones. It hardly seemed fair to us and I felt deprived. I asked our teacher if she would consider reversing this order to let the last row go first occasionally but she held steadfast to her strict way of doing things, and wouldn't budge at my suggestion.

I soon began disliking coloring class because I never got my favorite colors, which were shades of midnight blue or navy blue. The only blue crayons I ever got lucky enough to pick out were short nubs, broken ones with the paper peeled off them. I managed to pick out the best I could of any leftovers blue ones. Blue was my favorite color back then, and still is today.

About thirty five years later I received a unexpected package and as I began to unwrap it I was surprised to find huge boxes of crayons. I thought to myself, what will I ever do with all of these crayons as my children are all older now. It was when I opened up the individual boxes the tears flooded my eyes, inside of each box revealed only blue crayons -- not another color -- only beautiful, brand new, never used perfect blue crayons with the wrappers still intact.

How my heart sang at 41 years old to receive this thoughtful gift, and read the touching letter that was enclosed.

Many years ago, I had told my fiancé about the story about me disliking to color in elementary school, and he remembered this and took it upon himself to make sure I would never have to use another ugly broken blue crayon ever again. My sweet Eric went out of his way to buy up tons of crayons and hand pick out all of the blue ones to give to me.

When I asked what he did with all of the other crayons, he laughed and replied, "I gave them to a daycare center, and apologized to them because there were no blue crayons in the boxes".

That was one of the sweetest, most romantic things anyone has ever done for me. I will cherish his kindness forever. Even today, when we take our grandson with us out to eat at restaurants and Zachary is given crayons and paper to play with while waiting for our food, Eric sometimes will reserve the pretty blue crayons just for me to save.

I can never look at another blue crayons again without remembering this precious memory of all those beautiful new blue colors my wonderful husband gave to me many years ago.

Singing with Delirious

2009-09-12T22:50:00.036-04:00

My life as of lately has been somewhat chaotic, and filled with multiple hurdles to overcome. I haven’t wanted to chronicle all of the tremendous negative emotions I have been experiencing, instead I chose not to write anything.

I won’t bore you with details of the past few weeks suffice to say it’s been filled with doctor appointments, my extended 8-day hospital stay, and numerous obstacles with the Transplant center instead I want to focus on how good God is and the more positive things that have happened.

Eric and I were blessed to go to a Christian Conference again, and we thoroughly enjoyed the messages taught. We left with our souls refreshed, and with our faith increased. Even through all of our trials, we both know that God is Sovereign and will see us through this.

We sang along with the Christian praise and worship group Delirious? with lead singer Martin Smith. This group is incredible. We were blessed to be sitting on the sixth row, and was very close to the stage. It was so exciting. This was the eighth time we've seen them.

Over the past few weeks Eric has had his share of ups and downs, and when he felt up to it, he has been busy working on his novel. I can’t wait to read his final draft, and see it finally published. It’s quite interesting.

Now that our summer is winding down Autumn will soon be upon us and we will be enjoying the beautiful colors of the fall foliage and all the many daily blessings we receive.

Battlefield of the Mind

2009-08-01T23:32:00.001-04:00

A recent event caused me to take a step back and re-evaluate things as I had perceived them. My thoughts had been mentally distorted about a particular matter. I was negatively thinking with my emotions about a burden and wasn’t able to be open-minded.

It’s so easy to lose yourself to cynical thoughts and have poor perception about things when your life is filled with chaos, anxiety and a lot of uncertainty. Yet, as a Christian, I know that I should leave all my burdens in God’s hands. When will I ever learn God sees the big picture, and that His timing is always perfect?

It’s when I am feeling helpless in the middle of a trial and facing difficult situations that I tend to ask, "Why Lord? Why are You allowing this to happen?" God doesn’t mind me questioning, He understands my fears.

It’s fair to say I should not be worrying about the future, but rather focusing more on the present. Regardless of the situation, I have repeatedly seen God's gracious, protecting, and loving hand working in each and every circumstance I have encountered in my life. He isn’t going to change today. He remains the same, and will always be there for me, I can depend on Him. God has demonstrated to me over and over again that His way is the best way, even though I can’t always see it.

I had been praying about this particular issue when I got a gentle reminder from God revealing His truth to me, opening my eyes. He knows what is best for us, and immediately upon acknowledging His truths, I felt a shift in my attitude and my thoughts completely changed and I was able to see things clearer and felt a calming peace about my burden.

This is the times that I can tell I am growing in my spiritual walk, this reminds me that I need to be constantly re-evaluating things in my life, and I pray I never stop doing this.

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Odd things happening at home

2009-07-24T23:54:00.004-04:00

No much to report today, other than there is never a dull moment around our home -- only a dull looking flower bed now.

We live in a suburban area that is inundated with groundhogs and Whitetail deer and it’s not uncommon to see them in walking through our yard late in the evenings year round, more especially in the wintertime.

Never have we experienced a problem with either of them until recently. I have found evidence of hoof marks inside my now flowerless flower bed. The deer have obviously visited our yard during the night and had a feast from all of my flowers as a midnight snack.

All of my beautiful stargazer lilies blooms are now gone, nibbled up, with only stems remaining. I salvaged the last few blooms and put them in a vase on my table so that we could get a little enjoyment out of them. Other foliage has been torn and my azalea blooms and buds stripped, gnawed and sampled.

The deer completely ignored the green plants that I wasn’t fond of, leaving everything appearing as if it was all shrubs and weeds now.

...................................................................................

Something strange happened the other night. My son Adam was over for dinner, and as he was helping me set the table with the dinnerware, he also lit a candle as he knows we sometimes enjoy having candlelight with dinner.

Within minutes the three of us were eating and sharing conversation, when unexpectedly the overhead light went out leaving us with a dim flame produced by the burning candle. Our first thoughts were that the power was going out, but then we noticed the lights over the island bar a few feet away were still on.

Within two minutes the lights came back on again. We were all intrigued by this and discussed how odd that only one set of the light fixtures in the kitchen went out and then... it happened a second time.

This time we were laughing at how eerie this was. Of all the lights in the house that were on at that particular time, the only one to go off was the one that was above our heads.

Do you ever have problems with animals in your yard, or strange things happening in your home?

My Birthday

2009-07-18T23:59:00.007-04:00

It seems the older we get our birthdays tend to come around much quicker than when we were young children and we were looking forward to them. I feel blessed to have been given another year. I was never one who needed a big birthday party to celebrate, instead I prefer the quieter times doing things with my loved ones to make my day to feel special.

Eric has made sure that my birthday has been a fun day for me. The day started out with phone calls with birthday wishes from several family members, and friends. Later my oldest son, Adam and Eric took me out to lunch where we all stuffed ourselves, and I enjoyed a slice of delicious chocolate cake.

After returning home to open my cards and gifts of a pretty bracelet, a nice wall plaque, and two books, Eric and I spent the whole day at two places that we love to visit. The Chester waterfront is located underneath the Commodore Barry Bridge and the other is Bartram’s Covered Bridge. Coincidentally on the day we got engaged we visited both of these places, so there are lots of great memories for us at these places.

The scene of the waterfront is now changing as a new Major League Soccer stadium for both the men and women’s teams is being built on the grounds and much of the former park area and many of the trees have now been removed. The existing boat landing, short boardwalk and fishing pier and places to picnic will remain. We enjoyed strolling along the waterfront spending time on the pier watching the numerous boats go by and children playing.

Bartram’s Covered Bridge is another very special place to us for several reasons mostly because that is where Eric proposed during a romantic summer picnic. This place is hidden off the main path, and it's a picturesque setting complete with an uninterrupted creek flowing underneath the bridge that travels downstream for miles. We have spent many hours talking while having picnics and skipping rocks across the brook while making plans for our future. We love this place so much we have a photo of it above our fireplace mantel.

I think all couples have “their own special place” they like to call theirs and visit frequently. Where are some of your special places?

Doing the simplest things with those I love at memorable places make the best memories on special days for me. I am already looking forward to turning 50 next year.

Special doctors and hospitals

2009-07-17T23:19:00.006-04:00

Do you have confidence in your health care team?

Having trust in your physicians can make all the difference in your recovery as you should be partners in your treatments especially when you have a chronic medical condition. We have been blessed with have a special team of doctors, and an excellent hospital treating Eric.

Eric had an appointment today with his main Hepatologist at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania (HUP). His doctor gave us some much needed encouragement and some good advice for his complications from the cirrhosis. We felt her aggressive cutting edge expertise, and experience in the liver disease specialty field is without question. We left feeling more hopeful that we normally do. Perhaps it was due to her kind emotional support from a physician.

She gave Eric her approval to once again be able to add meat back into his diet, and hopefully with another change in his medication he will soon start to feel better. She is genuinely concerned about Eric’s condition, and has given us her private phone line to call her personally with updates on him whether he is experiencing a good day or a bad day. This only adds to our trust in her medical care.

We have every confidence in HUP, their staff, and the transplant team as they have an extraordinary reputation as a world-renowned clinical and research hospital. It was ranked as the # 8 Best Hospital in the United States out of thousands by U.S. News & World Report. HUP has a Level 1 Trauma Center and a fleet of 6 helicopters called PennSTAR used to transport critically injured patients to the hospital. It has 697 hospital beds and a team of 1,663 physicians on staff, in addition to being the nation’s first teaching hospital.

Eric’s doctors are located in the Perelman Center for Advanced Medicine. It is a state-of-the-art, 500,000 square foot facility that’s attached to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania through a glass crosswalk. This outpatient center cost $302 million to build, and is very impressive. Did I mention they even have a shopping boutique?

The professionalism shown by the staff is overwhelming. The staff is especially helpful to keep families updated on patients who are having surgery as they update the boards every 20 seconds on a television monitor of the patient’s status. It reminds me of the airport terminal boards and waiting for a loved one to arrive. It shows the patient’s pre-op status, what time their procedure began and ended, what time they were moved into the recovery room, and their destination if the patient is expected to be released to either go home or if they are to be admitted.

If you ever need an excellent hospital, we highly recommend this one, but be prepared the valet services are not cheap.

Falling in love again

2009-07-11T23:56:00.019-04:00

I’ve fallen in love all over again this past week. I’m not sure exactly how or when it happened I just know that I’ve caught myself staring and smiling at my husband more than I have in a long time. Perhaps it is just from spending quality time with the one you love and this has made a difference in my attitude.

We have been dealing with Eric’s illness on a daily basis for months now, so it’s only natural for it to create some tension within our relationship. Yet, through it all it’s important we remember what our priorities are and to not lose sight of them and deal with the stress productively.

We have felt blessed as Eric has felt a little stronger, and had a little more energy than usual for an entire week. We have taken advantage of this time and were able to do several enjoyable things together that we’ve missed doing. It’s the simple physical things that we take for granted and we realize this when they are removed from our daily lives.

Some of the things we did this week, in no particular order were.

Another cookout – or as some northerners call it a BBQ with lots of good food.

On the 4th of July, the weather was absolutely perfect so we bravely decided to spend the night out under the stars since we hadn’t done this in ages. Instead of camping out in the woods in sleeping bags on the hard ground, we brought outside a mattress, bed sheets, and blankets and slept on the deck next to the burning firepit. This was my idea of roughing it.

Eric kept the fire stoked as the temperature dropped down to 58° by early morning. It was a miracle in itself there were not any annoying bugs out that night. As we lay warmly snuggled up in our covers, staring at the northern sky in search of the big dipper, we noticed the constellations of stars in view were dimly hiding behind the clouds. The noises we heard were very faint in the distance. There was a low flying jet overhead, some late night firework displays, and a barely noticeable motorcycle sound. A few crickets chirped softly nearby, singing us to sleep. It was a fun night, and we’re looking forward to doing it again, but only when it gets warmer as Eric claims.

We’ve spent several late night hours watching the first season of the China Beach series cuddled up on the couch. I never watched the show when it was originally aired, but I’ve come to enjoy this series now and I can’t wait to see how it ends.

On another night, we had the pleasure of entertaining six young men from the Christian Academy of Arts as our overnight guest. This was the second year they have stayed with us. What a blessing these talented guys were, and the play they preformed was awe inspiring.

Today was an adventuresome day as we went to the park with our 4 ½ year-old grandson Zachary, and we took our three bikes to ride on a bike trail. I’m looking forward to riding the entire distance of six miles one day soon. We couldn’t complete it today as unfortunately one of our bikes got a flat tire.

We also visited a historical site in our community of an enormous 400 + year-old Weeping Beech tree that was incredible. We never knew existed until now.

There was something very special about this week, yet I can’t seem to put my finger on it. I just know that God had his hand in it and tonight as I lay my head on my pillow I will be counting my many blessings and thanking him for my handsome, wonderful husband and the love we share in addition to the time we have to cherish together each day.

A Walk In the Park

2009-07-03T20:57:00.010-04:00

For such a long time I have not known how to deal productively with the raw emotions that have overtaken and plagued my mind. Instead of expressing them in a positive manner, I’ve internalized and repressed them. It’s easy to do when you are faced daily with all of the unknowns and the uncertainties that occur from living with my husband’s Cirrhosis. This disease is something I will never understand.

I genuinely want to change these negative feelings and be able to vent to get them out in ways other than tears. I realize this isn’t healthy, and its taking its toll on me emotionally. I know that something has to change, I can’t continue like this. Perhaps this is why I’ve not even had the heart to blog.

It’s been an especially difficult week physically and emotionally for both of us. I have spent numerous hours in prayer seeking God's guidance.

I am grateful that today we’ve turned a corner and have been able to get out of the house, and have some fun together. Escaping the sadness and trying to temporally forget about the illness was exactly what the doctor ordered.

Eric and I went out to lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and spent some quality time adventuring around the park overlooking the waterfront and sightseeing. The weather was perfect as the sun was shining and a cool breeze was blowing as the sailboats sailed smoothly down the river. The view was extraordinary and relaxing.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow and the adventures in our lives it will bring.

The Ben Franklin Bridge in Philadelphia is beautiful at night time.

Pieces of me

2009-06-27T10:28:00.003-04:00

What are some words that represents you and your life?

Go to http://www.wordle.net/ to create your own words.

A strong faith

2009-06-25T10:35:00.005-04:00

I wonder if those two woodpeckers ever worried Noah.
I highly doubt it.

I pray that one day I will have faith as strong as Noah had.

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T13:50:00.004-04:00

May each of you fathers out there have a very Happy Father's Day, and this goes for those mommies who have to be moms and dads both. You deserve an extra special day.

It is sooo me

2009-06-19T21:09:00.006-04:00

It is sooo me. Don’t you just love the looks of my new blog? I do too. It’s soooo “me” with my pink laptop and cup of hot coffee. :-)

I have to admit, I cannot take the credit for this awesome makeover, as I am not the talented person who created it. I only selected the image that I wanted put on it.

My sweet friend Danielle designed this for me.

Isn’t her work awesome?

Her client list is outstanding but then again, I’m not surprised because I know she is such a brilliant graphic designer. She has produced numerous blog makeovers for hundreds of bloggers. Make sure you check out her blog, beautiful stationary, adorable prints and awesome graphics too. Her prices are excellent also.

Bless her heart she really is the sweetest person ever to work with, and Danielle has had the patience of a saint working with me trying to get mine designed exactly like I wanted it. She has been tweaking it for me until it is just perfect. She is almost finished.

Hurry over and check her out. Oh yeah, she just had a fabulous give away! Make sure you don’t miss her next one, and tell her I sent you over, and what you think of her work.

Danielle you ROCK! Thank you for helping me with this project.

Check her studio and portfolio out at http://thedesigngirlstudio.blogspot.com/

Saying I love you

2009-06-18T23:35:00.007-04:00

I don’t really forget to tell my husband that I love him, in fact I tell him many times each day. I just thought this was a good time to tell him again.

Saying I love you, and letting him know just how special he is to me is very important to me.

Do you tell your loved ones that you love them often enough?

100 Things About Me

2009-06-16T17:36:00.016-04:00

Who is this woman Debi you might ask...

1. I almost wrecked my car from an assault. While driving, my umbrella was on the back seat and unexpectedly popped open, attacking the back of my head and hair. My screams could be heard miles away.

2. I will always be one of Johnny Carson’s biggest fans. I have tons of his memorabilia, including hundreds of photos of him. I cried for an hour when I heard of his death. I was devastated.

3. I am paranoid about food expiration dates. I will only use the very freshest milk and bread.

4. I don’t always sleep quietly. Sometimes I snore. Okay make that often.

5. I read constantly and have since I was a young girl; I enjoy it more than watching TV.

6. I try to be a very good mother, and grandmother. I love spoiling my family.

7. I accidentally sent a romantic email to my former employer’s entire organization by mistake but was able to retract it. Whew, that could have been embarrassing.

8. I hate leaving home without my watch, but it’s the first thing I remove when I return.

9. I am a brittle diabetic, and either I wear an insulin pump to receive approximately 330 units of insulin each 24 hours, or I have to have at least six to eight injections each day. My endocrinologist said that in his 30-year medical career he’d never seen another patient that required that much insulin to survive. So, does this mean I am too sweet?

10. I am a very picky eater, and have a long list of foods I hate including onions, mustard, sauerkraut, and liverwurst, English peas, and Brussels sprouts.

11. I am learning about my genealogy, and am enjoying creating our family tree.

12. I have green eyes, and short brown hair with a few natural curls.

13. I love getting spa pedicures and paint my toenails often.

14. I have an excellent sense of smell; I can detect even the slightest hint of odor anywhere. I am especially sensitive to odors and will physically gag from smelling something that stinks.

15. I have ophidiophobia or snake phobia, I refuse to even watch them on TV or look at their pictures in books.

16. I am faithfully loyal and I won’t accept anything less in return.

17. I prefer to mount paper towels and toilet paper so they roll from underneath.

18. I insist on clean bed sheets. I wash them more frequently than normal. I love slipping inside 300-count Egyptian cotton sheets on a freshly made bed.

19. I have many flaws, and God is currently helping me work on them.

20. I am almost 5’3” if I stretch.

21. I held my maternal grandmother in my arms while she died peacefully. I loved her dearly; she was the only grandparent I ever knew and she helped raise me.

22. I have no tattoos or piercings other than my ear lobes.

23. I have worked in the medical field in insurance for 15 years.

24. I have a strong southern accent that I don’t notice but everyone else around me tends to.

25. I know without any doubt that I would not be alive today if it were not for drinking milk, whenever I get severely hypoglycemic. It is mystery to doctors that milk is about the only carbohydrate that will stabilize my blood-sugar levels when nothing else will.

26. I rarely ever go to bed before 1AM.

27. I was affected more by 9/11 more than I would admit to anyone. I was terrified by it, and couldn't sleep for weeks reliving the event over in my mind.

28. I have an eclectic taste in music ranging from country to pop to gospel.

29. I am allergic to iodine, and twice went into Anaphylactic Shock over it.

30. I have never been selected to serve on jury duty. However, I always wanted to.

31. I went to the restroom in the mall and was embarrassed to see another man standing beside me at the sink while washing our hands. Neither of us spoke, and it wasn’t until we left that I saw the sign that said MENS.

32. I have A negative blood type with RH-negative antigen -- only 1 in 15 people have this blood type therefore I can only receive A negative or O negative blood.

33. I can sit and watch ocean waves for hours. I love the beach and once drove four hours during the night just to go sit at the beach to think alone. I love whales but have never seen one yet.

34. I once had a red rose --just given to me-- snatched from my hand while on a romantic trip to Manhattan. Actually, it was quite funny when it happened. Easy come, easy go.

35. I spend too many hours on my pink laptop reading, when I should be doing other things.

36. I will only eat Blue Plate Mayonnaise on my sandwiches and I buy a dozen jars at a time, and ship them from Mississippi up to Pennsylvania.

37. I enjoy receiving cards or letters in the mail, and open them first before any other mail.

38. I am very tenderhearted and cry easily at emotional movies and sad books.

39. I love passionate kisses anytime of the day or night.

40. I have made many mistakes in life, and pray that I have learned something from them.

41. I usually try to have at least a dozen gallons of laundry washing detergent on hand.

42. I like to sing loudly (and badly) when alone in my vehicle.

43. I’ve had both ankles broken twice, and have no problems with either today.

44. I enjoy singing in our church choir although I don't like my voice.

45. I was born, raised and lived in the beautiful magnolia state of Mississippi for 41 years before moving to PA eight years ago.

46. I am better at baking desserts than main meals. My husband is the better cook in our home.

47. My best girlfriend and I could possibly set world records for time spent shopping. We could stay at the mall all day, and we have.

48. I am terrified of the flying monkeys and the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz. They scare the hibbie-jibbies out of me.

49. I am not very patient, and know that God is testing me lately.

50. I have received two speeding tickets in my life.

51. I have never taken any illegal drugs.

52. I have saved every card, love letter, note, etc. I have ever received from my husband through the years. I am very sentimental about things like that.

53. I love to feel the wind in my hair from riding motorcycles, four wheelers, and boats --anything that goes fast. Yet I have slowed my driving down through the years.

54. I knew from the time I was a young girl, that I was born to be a mother.

55. Most of my friends call me Deb and not Debi.

56. Rarely does my husband ever use my name he always calls me Sweetheart, Honey, Baby, or some sweet term of endearment.

57. Filthy language offends me.

58. I’ve worn glasses or either contacts since I was 13-years old.

59. I had lunch with Stephen King once when he was lost, driving through my hometown. He stopped and asked for directions. He was a very funny. I was shocked that a man actually asked for directions.

60. I met Bill Cosby while during a photo shoot, and was insulted by his rude racial comments.

61. I am a middle child with an older and younger sister.

62. I love to sleep in cold temperatures. In the summer time, there are two ceiling fans, and a air conditioner running in our bedroom while we’re swaddled up in a down comforter.

63. I love almost anything chocolate, but have to limit myself.

64. I love to slow dance -- there’s nothing like a romantic slow dance with your loved one.

65. I enjoy scrap-booking and creating memories in albums from favorite photographs.

66. I prefer going to the driving range over playing a full round of golf.

67. I am a romantic at heart, I love giving gifts.

68. I am hot natured and usually wear only thin jackets even during the coldest winters.

69. I adore snuggling up and breathing in my husband’s cologne.

70. l was born on the 199th day of the year July 18.

71. According to my diary entry written in 1973 (I was 13), I wanted to marry Donny Osmond.

72. I despise liars. Just tell me truth, and I won’t be nearly as mad. Lie to me, and I will forgive you but I will never forget it.

73. I have been accused of touching practically everything in a store that I look at or admire.

74. I have never been on a cruise. I’d love to visit an international country in the near future.

75. I prefer to sleep on the right side of the bed, and not against a wall.

76. I am a born again Christian, and was baptized at the age of 13.

77. In a single day on a trip from Philadelphia to New York I rode in a truck, a train, a boat, a bus, a taxi, a horse-drawn carriage, and a limousine.

78. I get misty eyed when I hear the Star Spangled Banner played, I am proud to be patriotic.

79. I was born in the same hospital as my children. The same doctor delivered me and my daughter both.

80. I have too many pairs of shoes in my closet, over 40 pairs.

81. I am learning to open up and not be afraid of having deep conversations about myself.

82. I started drinking coffee two years ago, and now am addicted. I love it.

83. I don’t like being unorganized, but admit I am in some areas.

84. I forget addresses, but I can usually remember the letter the street or town begins with.

85. I love tromping through and playing in the snow.

86. I like watching some reality shows like American Idol, and Dancing with the Stars.

87. I always wanted braces on my teeth as a young teenager, but my dentist said I didn’t need them. Just to see what I might look like with pretend braces I wrapped tinfoil around a rubber band, stretched it around my teeth, and smiled in front of the mirror. I wasn’t cute.

88. I am a devoted Philadelphia Eagles and Phillies fan.

89. I have a fear of being cremated. People read the will.

90. I shocked myself when I once asked a telephone solicitor what he preferred sexually, when he refused to stop talking, that shut him up, and he hung up on me.

91. I learned how to drive in a 1966 Ford Falcon, and never learned how to drive a stick well.

92. I am excellent sharpshooter at shooting targets with a rifle.

93. I enjoy reading my Bible first thing every morning. I can't start my day without it.

94. I love romantic picnics, especially at covered bridges or special places to sit and talk.

95. I was too interested in boys at the age of 14 to understand the significance when I got to ride in a racecar with NASCAR driver Cayle Yarborough. He drove me around a racetrack in his white #11 car. My dad was his pit crew chief.

96. I like being alone at times. Sometimes I am my own best company.

97. I refuse to go inside a closet with the door closed behind me.

98. I have a mild temper, but it takes a lot to push me to the point of anger.

99. I have never been happier than I am at this point in my life. I would not go back to relive any other year in my life.

100. I never knew the true meaning of genuinely loving someone completely until I met my best friend, and husband Eric.

Now I would love to read some things about you.

A Family United

2009-06-14T17:08:00.013-04:00

If you were to think of some of your most treasured objects what would they be? What material items holds special meanings for you?

I am a sentimental person, and could think of many things that I value. I cherish my Bible, my wedding rings, our families photo albums, old love letters these are all things that are near and dear to my heart. Another item I especially love is the Unity Sand vase that my husband and I along with our children created at our wedding that now has a place of honor on the fireplace mantel.

At our beach wedding less than two years ago down at North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, Eric and I decided we wanted to have a Unity Sand ceremony as a very special way of blending our two families together.

We began the ceremony by placing a small rock in the bottom of a glass vase to represent our religious beliefs as Christ is the foundation of our family, and then we each poured a small amount of colored sand from our separate containers on top of the rock in the vase. My sand was blue, and Eric’s was green representing us as individuals.

Then, one by one, each of our children added their own sand of five different colors on top of ours signifying the blending our two families are now one creating a beautiful colored layering effect. Lastly, Eric and I poured the remaining parts of our sand into the top of the vase together, mixing our blue and green sand together to symbolize that we could never be separated.

As you can see today our beautiful vase sits next our wedding photographs on the fireplace mantle with a candle in the top section.

Heal the wound but leave the scar

2009-06-10T16:48:00.008-04:00

Today is a very emotional day for me and I’m struggling to put into words what my heavy heart is feeling.

I created this blog as a place where I can express my feelings and yet, I don’t know how to do this, I don’t understand what is preventing me from purging my thoughts into this blog.

I lay in bed in the early hours of the morning earlier today trying to sort out these emotions and failed, all l I could do was weep and pray in the darkness. God alone knows what is best for me, and I know that he has a reason for the pain my family is experiencing.

My loss of self is unexplainable and still I question, is this our destiny?

I feel broken today, like no one else understands how I am feeling. I have such an open bleeding wound inside my heart, yet there is a deeper scar that remains.

My head knows that God is gracious, and he understands the depths of my pain, but today my heart doesn’t feel comforted. I keep remembering a song and it's message speaks volumes to me.

"Heal the Wound but Leave the Scar"

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering.

Maybe this is what I am seeking today… a reminding scar from a healed wound.

Coffee Snob

2009-06-09T02:13:00.030-04:00

Do you have one particular drink that is your ‘go- to drink’ when you need something to quench your thirst that you are a snob about?

It’s no secret that I am a Coffee Snob, coffee is my drink of choice, and a ice cold bottle of Starbucks Vanilla frappuccino® is my favorite cold drink. I enjoy it morning or night.

Did I mention that I love frappuccino's?

I admit I’m a bit of a fanatic. I usually enjoy at least two cups of coffee each morning before beginning my day. When I’m in a hurry and am short on time to slow brew a whole pot of coffee, I have been known to toss a pod into my Keurig and less than 30 seconds I have a steaming hot cup of coffee perfectly brewed (even if it's a tad stronger than I normally like it).

What is your favorite drink, what satisfies your thirst?

Opposites attract

2009-06-07T20:00:00.022-04:00

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who is a complete opposite from yourself? My husband and I are this way. We've found it can be interesting, challenging, and even frustrating at times.

He likes the Discovery, National Geographic, and Sci-Fi channels.
I prefer to watch the news, drama and comedies shows.

He’s more into rock and roll, and sings loudly to Bob Dylan.
I'm a little bit country and hum softly to Carrie Underwood.

He listens to the radio.
I am an iPod fan.

He is a night owl, and prefers to start his day at 9 AM.
I am an early riser, and try to get up earlier.

He reads spiritual, historical nonfiction, and things about nature.
I prefer spiritual, inspirational books and romance.

He favors his quick warm showers.
I love a long hot relaxing bath.

Our list of opposites could go on and on with our different tastes in movies, hobbies, room temperatures, our preferences of driving sticks vs. automatic vehicles, truck vs. soccer mom SUV; to him being a proud Yankee, to my southern pride.

One might wonder where the common ground we meet is. First and foremost Eric and I meet over our love for God, secondly our committed love for each other, our families, being one another’s best friend, special fleeting looks, pillow talks and shared laughter only we understand, singing along with Bruce Springsteen, watching Eagles football games, cooking dinner together, romantic walks on the beach, serene picnics at covered bridges, and playing with our precocious grandchildren.

What makes a relationship work when couples appear to be completely opposite from one another? That is a question has been discussed and debated for centuries, and yet I'm not sure there is a single correct answer. However, I genuinely believe that these types of relationships can and do work.

Even though my husband and I are extremely opposite in numerous ways, we feel our strong differences compliment and balance each other out. We each have own diverse characteristics and traits and we often pull strength and learn from the other.

So how does a couple like us, who are so very different, stay happily married? It takes work and we respectfully encourage each other’s differences in our likes and dislikes. Often there are situations that require us to make an effort to view the others opinions with open-minds and be willing to respectfully compromise when the need arises. After many trials and errors we are now better able to express our own thoughts as complimentary attributes.

We have learned to find value in and embrace our differences. Our love allows us to acknowledge each other’s strengths, and overlook flaws. We build each other up to bring out the best in one another mainly through our unique sense of humors and laughter.

We try to give the other enough space and independence, which in turn fosters our feelings and emotions. We try to resist the temptation to be judgmental, and it's not always easy to do when we're both headstrong.

My husband and I share the same dedication for our marriage, and to us, the most important thing is the way we communicate with each other. This doesn’t mean we always understand each other completely or can even see things clearly through the others eyes. There are times when we simply cannot agree on the issue at hand. Yet, neither would ever want to be married to someone exactly like ourselves. We need this variety to nurture and help us to continue to grow closer in our relationship.

Eric said it best when he said, “we are each weaker without the other, and combined our strength exceeds what either could accomplish on our own”.

Many times it’s been said, "Opposites attract", and that old adage may still have some truth to it, but even so, these opposites continue to love each other deeply and wouldn’t change a thing (much) about our mate. I’d say we were well-balanced loving partners who are committed for life. Most importantly we recognize that it is God’s love and blessings that holds us together.

What about you and your partner are you more similar or opposites?

Creature of Habit

2009-06-06T18:12:00.005-04:00

I have discovered I am a creature of habit. I have adopted certain good habits that I practice routinely, and yet I have developed others that do not benefit me. I am not someone who resists change, nor do I encourage it. Some of my behaviors I have no desires to change, although I realize I need better discipline in changing some of my more unhealthier habits. My will power is often weak at best in the self-improvement area.

Daily rituals are an essential part of maintaining a consistent lifestyle for me, and I’ve found that if my weekday routines are altered it seems to temporarily throw me off the course of my day. I am similar to Bill Murray’s character in the Groundhog’s Day movie in that some ways it appears I’m reliving each day repeatedly, and that’s not always a bad thing for me. I wonder if others live their lives by habitually repeating the same things day in and day out as I do.

I usually try to wake up by 8:00 each morning, brush my teeth, and take my medications. That is the first two important things I must do upon awaking. I spend the first hour of my day enjoying my quiet time in prayer and my daily devotions while enjoying my morning cup of WaWa French Vanilla coffee.

Later I typically can be found munching on a bowl of breakfast cereal while reading the news online, answering or writing emails and commenting on blogs and facebook. Then I face the challenges of the day whether it is laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, appointments, or whatever it may be for that particular day.

Some days there isn’t a lot of excitement, yet I especially enjoy those quiet days at home and it’s important that I set aside some time just for me at some point in the day.

My evenings are always spontaneous, and I prefer them this way. I am against strict dinner schedules and I like to just go with the flow or whatever the mood is at the moment. I enjoy spending quality time with my husband relaxing watching TV, reading, writing a blog, and winding down from the day’s events before bedtime.

For my everyday life, I’ll continue puttering along with my daily rituals that work fine for me, while singing my own silly songs, and feeling grateful to God for having another day to share with my family. Most importantly, I’ll just continue to not dwell on the negative issues of the world that I have no control over, and just be appreciative of the things that enrich my life.

Gone but not forgotten

2009-06-05T23:30:00.007-04:00

On Saturday morning May 30, 2009 our family lost our beloved “Mom”, she was 85-years-old.

We had a beautiful life celebration service for her. She was a huge part of our daily lives, and we're going to miss her terribly. Our Pastor Buddy gave a lovely memorial tribute to mom, and our friend Steve sang two of her favorite songs. Our church family has been so incredibly supportive throughout her lengthy illness. The outpouring of love, encouragement, food, and flowers from everyone has been overwhelming.

It’s been a continuous whirlwind with lots of friends and relatives visiting. It was great having all of our family here to remember mom. And yesterday the last of the kids have flown back to their homes, and our home is very quiet.

As I was preparing my morning cup of coffee getting ready to do my daily devotion today, I realized my faithful prayer partner won’t ever sit with me again to do this as we had done so many times in the past. I felt a profound sadness come over me, yet I know that the grieving process will take some time to work through.

It’s difficult to put into words what mom meant to me, she was so much more than just a mother-in-law she was one of my closest friends who blessed my life. I loved her dearly, and cherish our short time we had together.

Although we may feel sad by our loss, we know its heaven’s gain and she is looking down from there watching over us. We have the reassurance that we will see her again one day, and that is comfort enough.

And God shall wipe away all tears of their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4

Rest in peace mom.

Compassionate and caring people

2009-05-24T15:01:00.017-04:00

I’ve got a lot to be thankful for. I have two of the sweetest girlfriends. They know how busy I have been lately, they kindly cooked us a delicious dinner and baked us a friendship bread loaf. I love them to pieces Cindy and Angela, you girls are the best. We really enjoyed your kindness, and greatly appreciated it.

It’s been another chaotic week around our home as our days have been spent at the rehab center, the hospital and the doctor’s office while trying to maintain some sense of normalcy around our home.

My sweet husband, Eric was feeling extremely weak from the Hepatic Encephalopathy, and because he was lightheaded, he took a nosedive and fell hard onto the hardwood floor causing him to injure his ribs, knee, and right side. Thankfully no ribs were broken, but were bruised and his pulled muscle is very painful. He isn’t one to complain often. But I can clearly see he’s hurting from the look on his face.

He’s struggling to function on minimal sleep. Last night was no exception as he had another sleepless night. I try to stay awake with him whenever possible. There are some nights when we’re both up all night long.

It’s obvious the cirrhosis is progressing, and is taking its toll on his body and his doctor has recommended he purchase a walking cane to assist him. He also has advised against him driving for the time being until his ammonia levels are stabilized into a more normal range. Recently his blood test showed these levels were five times higher than they should normally be, thus causing the sleep deprivation, and light headiness.

I am praying that he will soon get a liver transplant and will feel like his old self again. It’s painful to watch the one you love suffer. The emotions we deal with are all over the place. One doctor has suggested we write about our feeling about his disease, and thought that blogging would be a good release for us. So we're going to try to take his advice and let our blogs be an emotional outlet for us.

Eric's blog can be found at...

http://www.onshiftingsands.blogspot.com/

We really like his liver specialist he is such a caring physician. He genuinely cares for his patients. Each month when see him, after he has completed his physical exam on Eric, he invites into his office. There he usually spends about an hour with us discussing Eric’s disease and what we can expect, etc. Most doctors I have seen haven't typically spend this much time with their patients.

Writer's Block

2009-05-17T15:08:00.009-04:00

I have Writer's Block with nothing much to say at the moment. I suppose its mainly because my sick family members are my main prioriety at the moment, and my blogging will have to take a back seat for today.

Update on My Mother-in-Love

2009-05-03T12:55:00.003-04:00

I have waited for this day to come for such a long time, it has rained for weeks. Spring has finally found its way to our area this past week, and I savored my time outdoors in the sunshine, the temperature finally reached 90° for a few days.

I took advantage of it, and spent an hour relaxing on the riding mower while cutting the lawn. I enjoy doing this task. I had a lot on my mind and needed some alone time to think. Plus there is something gratifying about seeing the end results of your work in the neat straight lines cut in the grass, and beautiful flowers blooming across the yard.

As I was zooming across the backyard on the mower, I thought about my sweet mother-in-love (law) who always enjoyed sitting on the deck and watching me. She always reminds me that she loved the smell of fresh cut grass.

I wonder if she will ever get the opportunity to smell fresh cut grass again.

Mom is still in the rehab center undergoing physical and speech therapy due to her recent stroke three weeks ago. Unexpectedly, her health has rapidly declined she is very frail at only 90 lbs.

We were told by her doctors that she is no longer physically able to do the therapy, and will need to go into hospice care somewhere very soon. They believe she only has a matter of a few days or weeks left. This was painful for us to hear this news, and breaks our hearts.

We are selfish and are not ready to give her up, and we’ve all decided we want to bring mom back home. This is the one place where she was the happiest and at peace. Mom lives with us, (independently) in an in-law suite that is attached to our home. She loves spending her time with her cat, putting puzzles together or quietly sitting in her chair looking at her family photographs. She also she enjoys looking out her large bay window, or slider glass door across the deck to see her bird houses, and enjoys the squirrels playing in the yard. This is where she belongs.

Lately mom has been sleeping day and night, and hasn’t always recognized us, and sometimes she thinks that we are someone different from her past, people that we do not know. She refuses to eat most of the time, and has been in a great deal of pain from her arthritis in her hip and leg.

Today was a good day as she ate plus she even remembered us. We actually had a nice conversation and she was fully aware of her surroundings.

We took her outside in a wheelchair yesterday to feel the warmth of the sunshine and she gave us a beautiful little smile, and after 10 minutes she asked to be put back into her bed. It was too much for her, she is so weak.

We’re just hoping for as many good days as we can possibly get with her and pray for her daily.

She is more than just a mother in law she is one of my very best friends, and a faithful prayer partner.

I thank God for allowing me to be a part of this special ladies life.

Defining Myself

2009-04-13T13:06:00.003-04:00

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what defines us as individuals, what our God given talents are, and this made me wonder who I am, and how others perceive me. Then I realized it doesn’t really matter how others perceive me, what is more important is what I think of myself.

My self-definition could be many unlimited things because I am completely different from anyone else. It’s all in our own diversity. Physically I may appear to look like others, but inside I am not the same.

Am I defined by being a 49-year old white American woman? Does being a happily married woman, a born again Christian, a daughter, a mother, a grandmother, a sister and a friend define me? I don’t believe material possessions have anything to do with who I am. I am not defined by a title from an employer or by initials behind my name from my education, or from my passion for reading or my DNA.

Do my dreams and aspirations play a role in the person I will become?

I am defined by being true to myself – a child of God.

I feel that my roots, my life experiences, religious beliefs, decisions and mistakes I’ve made have each enhance the woman I am today. Every day I face new choices, challenges, and this in turn keeps me constantly changing. I am thankful I am not the same person I was a few ago, and I am sure I will not be the same person in the months and years to come.

I think my self-definition has more to do with my personal beliefs, the way I treat people, and how I’m treated, and my reactions to others. I hope I never stop this constant journey of exploring the woman I am, while learning, and growing to becoming a strong confident individual and be all that I know I can be.

I think it’s important what I choose to believe about myself, my character, and what Christ wants me to achieve in life.

But in the end, all that really matters is what God thinks of Debi.

He is Risen

2009-04-12T21:01:00.004-04:00

I know that Christ is alive because He lives deep within my heart.

Happy Easter to you and yours.

A Family Emergency

2009-04-11T03:07:00.001-04:00

Three days ago, my sweet, elderly mother-in-love has suddenly experienced an intracerebral hemorrhage, or a "bleeding stroke." This was caused by a burst blood vessel in the brain. Mom is almost 86 years old, and needs all the prayers she can get right now.

The doctors recommended that she be transferred from our local community hospital to a specialty hospital in Philadelphia for surgery to remove the pressure off of the brain. However she declined it. She doesn’t want to endure this procedure, even though her prognosis is very poor. There is a 50% chance the bleeding will continue. We were told the surgery would not prolong her life.

Mom is extremely confused, with slurred speech, and her right side is very weak to the point of almost being immobile, her blood pressure is through the roof it is so high. It breaks our hearts seeing her lie helpless as she is.

Today she has been transferred to a stroke rehabilitation hospital. By working with speech, occupational, and physical therapist we’re hoping this will help her learn to talk again and hopefully regain some muscle strength in her right arm and leg.

Please lift our family up in your prayers and good thoughts at this time.

We are indeed facing some strong winds in our lives these days.

When the Wind Blows Through Your Life

2009-04-05T13:40:00.003-04:00

My husband often says “I will sleep well on a windy night” and until the underling meaning to the phrase was explained to me, I did not understand it completely. I do now.

Can you sleep when the wind blows?

Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops. As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals

Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. “Are you a good farm hand?” the farmer asked him.”Well, I can sleep when the wind blows,” answered the little man.

Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man’s work.

Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand’s sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, “Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!”

The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, “No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows.”

Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm. To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down.

Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

When you’re prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically, you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through your life?

The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he had secured the farm against the storm. We secure ourselves against the storms of life by making the necessary preparations and hanging on to our faith in our God. We don’t need to understand, we just need to trust and to have peace in the middle of storms.

-author unknown-

I hope you enjoy your day and you sleep well tonight, I know that along with Eric I will sleep well also, even as the strong winds are blowing in our lives right now.

Judging Others

2009-03-21T10:03:00.004-04:00

Are you judgmental when you see someone who looks different than you? I am ashamed to admit that I have been guilty of this in the past.

Recently, while sitting in the doctor’s office waiting room, two nice looking and well-dressed men carrying briefcases walked in and sat in the two empty seats to my left. I automatically assumed they were pharmaceutical reps from their conversation I overheard about selling medications.

A few minutes later a young man with numerous tattoos and piercings walked in. My immediate thought was ‘oh please do not sit next to me, you look freaky’. I can’t even rationally explain why I didn’t want him to sit there. What did he do? He sat next to me on my right.

My mind was racing and I was unkindly comparing him to the other men sitting there, soon I was classifying him in a negative judgmental way.

I could barely continue reading because I was so mentally distracted by his unique physical appearance. I secretly wanted to stare at him from behind my magazine. But I refrained.

This guy had so many piercings and tattoos all over his face, and on the front and back of his neck and arms. In my opinion he looked gross. It made me appalled that someone would do this to their body. Almost everyone in the waiting room was staring at him in disbelief. Some were actually whispering loudly about him.

Another lady sitting nearby boldly spoke up and asked him just how many piercings he had and he answered saying, “118 above my shoulders.”

There wasn’t a spot on his skin that I could see that wasn’t tattooed or pierced. This isn’t his photo above; however the man looked almost exactly like this person other than the hair.

While reading my magazine the front door opened again and a fragile older lady was trying to push her elderly husband through the doorway in a wheelchair and was having difficulty. Immediately I got up to help by holding the door open, right away the pierced guy jumped up, and assisted the couple in getting the wheelchair inside. The lady had accidentally dropped her purse, and the young man bent down and picked it up and the contents that had spilled out, then he helped position the wheelchair beside his wife’s chair. Making sure they were comfortable.

This happened while the two other nice-looking men in business suites remained in their seats talking, and continued to watch without moving.

The elderly lady thanked us both for helping them. Soon they had struck up a conversation with the man who helped them, and they were laughing together.

Once again I felt disgusted and saddened…this time it was with the two men who blatantly were inattentive and showed no respect for the elderly couple needing help, just to avoid being near the pierced guy.

Suddenly, I saw these two men in a different light, they were no longer nice looking but rather as selfish individuals. And I saw the pierced man completely differently. I was wrong, and had judged him unjustly. He had shown he was a thoughtful, caring person regardless of what he looked like.

This got me to thinking about how we sometimes are quick to jump to conclusions about people and judge them about their outward appearances, based on what we can physically see.

While I can say I know that I will never be a fan of multiple tattoos and face piercings, I can say with certainty I am going to try my best to be less judgmental of a person’s looks in the future. Yes I was guilty of judging the nice looking guys also.

Everyone is God's creation, someone’s child, parent, partner, and loved one and I need to remember this and accept them for who they are even if I don't approve of their actions. I am far from perfect, and have been judged because I am a plus size, yet I want others to accept me even though I may look different than them.

This taught me something about myself. I hope I will always remember that appearances can be deceiving. It’s what is on the inside that matters the most.

(I do not have permission from this person in the picture to use his photo, and I truly hope he doesn’t mind as it has been passed around the Internet for a few years.)

Be Careful What You Pray For

2009-03-12T10:02:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, an incident happened that I don’t believe was a twist of fate. Some may not think anything of it, but it meant something to me.

I was at a local bookstore looking for inspirational inscribed pocket coins, tokens, or stones to purchase for myself and for my husband.

I found a large basket filled with small pewter tokens that were exactly what I had in mind. As I was looking through them, I noticed there were probably 40 or 50 different sayings or quotes on the coins, such as “With God All Things Are Possible”, Guardian Angel, Courage, Believe, Faith, etc… I prayed that the perfect words would jump out at me and I would know instantly which ones to buy.

With great difficulty, I was rifling through the basket, while trying not to drop my other purchases I was holding under both arms. I was getting discouraged because I had stood there searching through them for a quite a long time and could not find the exact words on the coins that spoke to my heart. I just knew that I wanted to find something extra special for us that seemed fitting, and nothing was making an impression on me.

I had almost given up, and decided not to purchase any of them when I accidentally knocked the basket over, quickly catching all but two coins that fell onto the floor and rolled under the table.

I whispered a silent prayer of thanks that not all 500 of them scattered across the floor, and I jokingly thought, Okay Lord, I didn’t mean for them to literally jump out at me but whatever those two are on the floor I’m taking these for us.

Image my surprise when I turned the two coins over…What are the chances they were identical, and were exactly the words I needed from Him? A coincidence, I think not.

Moral of the story, be careful what you pray for, you just might get it as miracles happen, and that's what I am counting on.

The Beginning of Our Journey

2009-03-05T01:21:00.005-05:00

Over the past five weeks my husband, Eric and I have seen several very dark days since learning the devastating news of his illness. We debated whether or not we wanted to share our innermost thoughts, and after discussing it, we have encouraged each other to open ourselves up. We both tend to be private about our personal feelings and sometimes feel uncomfortable speaking outside of our comfort zone. However we feel the time is right to share this with our family and friends.

The love of my life, Eric has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Advanced Cirrhosis, End-stage Liver Disease on January 26, 2009.

I hope you will take the time to read his latest blog entry over at http://onshiftingsands.blogspot.com/ support him in this. I greatly admire his courageous spirit and unfailing humor.

To say it has been an emotional rollercoaster dealing with these feelings is a gross understatement. There aren’t adequate words to express the depths of our worst fears and the emotional upheavals that we’ve recently experienced. When the one you deeply love is suffering, you also feel the agonizing pain they are going through yourself.

He was hospitalized in the Intensive Care Unit listed in critical condition, and we were told by four specialists the extent of his disease, and the dismal prognosis that he would need to have a liver transplant immediately in order to survive. We were stunned this was happening now after he had been sober for several months. I knew immediately our happy lives as we knew it no longer existed. We were stepping off into unknown territories.

I held his hand that night in the ICU and assured him that we would get through this illness together, and I reminded him of our solemn promises we spoke at our wedding ceremony of ‘in sickness and in health for better or for worse ‘17 months ago, we made sacred vows not only to each other but to God as well, and we intend to honor this commitment regardless of the situation.

Later that night after I left the hospital, I came home and immediately fell to my knees beside our bed praying for my critically sick husband asking for God’s mercy, and a miraculous healing for him if it be His will. My faith was the only thing that was sustaining me as I poured my broken heart out to God. Although my mind was not able to form the words to speak I knew that those shed tears were an unspoken language that only He could understand and I know He heard my prayers.

As I lay on the carpet, it was as if I felt the Lord comforting me and saying that I could lay my head on his chest and to release all of my burdens, and tears to Him. I sobbed for hours as I was so deeply distraught as this horrible sickness wasn't in my plans for our lives.

I opened my Bible to seek guidance and immediately felt led to read Jeremiah 29:11-14

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the Lord.

It was no coincidence I turned to that page and read those scriptures. Those few verses spoke directly to my heart, and I felt comforted by them. It was exactly what I needed to read. I kept repeating them over in my head, and I realized that God wasn’t going to fail us. He had just given me more hope. This disease was no surprise to Him. He knew the plans for our lives long before we were even born and He would see us through this. I held on to His written promises right then, and I do even more so today.

It has been heartbreaking to see the other half of my heart become so physically ill, and knowing that I am helpless and powerless over his illness. I realize the most important thing I can do is continue to love and support Eric and pray for him.

We have had good days with shared laughter and bad days filled with lots of tears lately as its obvious his illness is rapidly progressing. Eric is now no longer allowed to drive as his physician has revoked his driving privileges due to some serious complications associated with the disease.

Yesterday his Hepatologist explained that he is now classified with a Child-Pugh score C, which is very disheartening to be told. This is weighing heavily on our minds; our prayers are that he can receive a liver transplant in time. You can read more about this score on the Internet.

I ask that you will please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Writing this entry has been very difficult, and we felt that we owed it to our family and friends to let you know the truth. We don't know what tomorrow holds for us, but we know that we have to lean on a Power that is greater than ourselves, and through our faith, love and support that surrounds us we can get through these terribly difficult times together.

No matter what the outcome we know we have a never ending love story and God has a plan for us and we trust Him.

Inspirations

2009-03-04T21:34:00.001-05:00

This is a test for the Inspirations link.

This page is currently under construction.

Our Story

2009-03-04T21:31:00.013-05:00

Our story began 20 years before I ever met my husband, Eric. God in his infinite wisdom knew what he was doing when he perfectly planned the timing of our meeting and the weaving of our two lives.

The song God Bless the Broken Road says pretty much just how I felt.

But I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow and kept pushing through; I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you. Every long lost dream led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars pointing me on my way into your loving arms, this much I know is true that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.

Over 20 years ago I had prayed for the Lord to send me who he wanted me to spend my life with and this blog is intended to be about us and our journey with Christ.

It all started the night I met a Eric online when he sent me an Instant Message. We clicked instantly. That entertaining conversation continued for eight hours straight. Little did I know that this exceptional gentleman would soon come to be the love of my life, but God already knew it to be so.

After months of daily emails, online chats, and phone calls, we decided to meet face to face. Our first date was on the beach, and it was 48-hours of pure romantic and magical bliss. We knew then that we were falling head over heels in love and felt it was our fate that we were destined to be together.

We continued to date long-distance and visited one another as often as we could. But living over 1,000 miles apart often proved to be difficult for our relationship. With the blessings of my family, I eventually made the move from Mississippi to Pennsylvania.

We knew we wanted to get married, and talked about it often. One beautiful summer day Eric took me to one of our favorite places called Bartram’s Covered Bridge for a romantic picnic where he proposed. We were married out on the beach in North Myrtle Beach, SC. Our wedding day was on the seventh year anniversary of our first date.

God is uniting our two families together, and between us we’ve been blessed with five amazing children, and today we have three beautiful grandchildren.

... Fast forward two years ...

On January 26, 2009 we found out that God had different plans for our lives as my husband was unexpectedly hospitalized and diagnosed with Stage 4 Advanced Cirrhosis, End-stage liver disease. We were told he would need a liver transplant in order to survive.

Today my beloved husband’s health is rapidly declining. For unknown reasons this is the path that the Lord has determined we would walk, and we’re putting our complete trust in him--praying for his will to be done in our lives. This is a very painful and difficult time in our lives both physically and emotionally. However, we’re relying completely on God.

Our prayer is for a miracle that Eric will be able to receive a healthy liver transplant one day soon. We know that one day this test will become a part of our testimony.

This is the chapters of our continuing journey.

Update: On March 14, 2010 our prayers were answered and we received a God sized miracle. Eric was blessed to get the life saving liver transplant and is doing well today, all thanks to God.

Home

2009-03-04T21:29:00.002-05:00

This is a test for my link.

Contact me

2009-03-04T03:24:00.004-05:00

If you would like to contact me, please email me at dayswithdebi at gmail.com