The Sweetest Gift

If someone asked you, what was one of the kindest, most thoughtful things that anyone has ever done for you that you have never forgotten, what would come to your mind?

A memory of this came to me as I was going through the contents a box of items I had stored away, I began reminiscing through the memories years ago, and a treasured reminder came back to me.

As a timid child, in the first grade my teacher was Mrs. Nicholson. She made it a point to assign each of her student's seats in the classroom alphabetically. My seat was the last one on the last row in the very back of the class, and her rule was there would be no changing of seats.

Our art and coloring activities time were immediately after lunch each day. Mrs. Nicholson would call us forward, row-by-row one at a time to select our crayons of choice from the large plastic gallon ice cream bucket that served as a communal crayon container. Because of the appointed seating arrangements, I was always almost the last child to choose mine.

Imagine the disappointment day after day when I selected my crayons knowing those of us who were the last in line only got the leftover broken crayons, while those who went before us always got the better ones. It hardly seemed fair and I felt deprived. I asked our teacher if she would consider reversing this order to let the last row go first occasionally but she held steadfast to her strict way of doing things, and wouldn't budge at my suggestion.

I soon began disliking coloring class because I never got my favorite colors, which were shades of midnight blue or navy blue. The only blue crayons I ever got lucky enough to pick out were short nubs, broken ones with the paper peeled off them. I managed to pick out the best I could of any leftovers blue ones. Blue was my favorite color back then, and still is today.



About thirty-five years later I received an unexpected package in the mail and as I began to unwrap it I was surprised to find huge boxes of crayons-- hundreds of crayons. I thought to myself, what will I ever do with all of these crayons. It was when I opened up the individual boxes the tears flooded my eyes, inside of each box revealed only blue crayons -- not another color -- only beautiful, brand new, never used perfect blue crayons with the wrappers still intact.

How my heart sang at 41 years old to receive this thoughtful gift, and read the touching letter that was enclosed. Surely no one else in the world could ever relate to this special gift.

Years earlier, I had told my then fiancé about the story about me disliking to color in elementary school, and he remembered this and took it upon himself to make sure I would never have to use another ugly broken blue crayon ever again. My sweet Eric went out of his way to buy up tons of crayons and hand pick out all of the blue ones to give to me.

When I asked him what he did with all of the other crayons, he laughed and replied, "I gave them to a daycare center, and apologized because there were no blue crayons in the boxes".


That was one of the sweetest, most romantic things anyone has ever done for me. I will cherish his kindness forever. Even today, when we take our grandson with us out to eat at restaurants and Zachary is given crayons and paper to play with while waiting for our food, Eric sometimes will reserve the pretty blue crayons just for me to save.

I can never look at another blue crayons again without remembering this precious memory of all those beautiful new blue colors my wonderful husband gave to me many years ago.

My Birthday

It seems the older we get our birthdays tend to come around much quicker than when we were young children and we were looking forward to them. I feel blessed to have been given another year. I was never one who needed a big birthday party to celebrate, instead I prefer the quieter times doing things with my loved ones to make my day to feel special.

Eric has made sure that my birthday has been a fun day for me. The day started out with phone calls with birthday wishes from several family members, and friends. Later my oldest son, Adam and Eric took me out to lunch where we all stuffed ourselves, and I enjoyed a slice of delicious chocolate cake.

After returning home to open my cards and gifts of a pretty bracelet, a nice wall plaque, and two books, Eric and I spent the whole day at two places that we love to visit. The Chester waterfront is located underneath the Commodore Barry Bridge and the other is Bartram’s Covered Bridge. Coincidentally on the day we got engaged we visited both of these places, so there are lots of great memories for us at these places.







The scene of the waterfront is now changing as a new Major League Soccer stadium for both the men and women’s teams is being built on the grounds and much of the former park area and many of the trees have now been removed. The existing boat landing, short boardwalk and fishing pier and places to picnic will remain. We enjoyed strolling along the waterfront spending time on the pier watching the numerous boats go by and children playing.



Bartram’s Covered Bridge is another very special place to us for several reasons mostly because that is where Eric proposed during a romantic summer picnic. This place is hidden off the main path, and it's a picturesque setting complete with an uninterrupted creek flowing underneath the bridge that travels downstream for miles. We have spent many hours talking while having picnics and skipping rocks across the brook while making plans for our future. We love this place so much we have a photo of it above our fireplace mantel.



I think all couples have “their own special place” they like to call theirs and visit frequently. Where are some of your special places?



Doing the simplest things with those I love at memorable places make the best memories on special days for me. I am already looking forward to turning 50 next year.

Falling in love again

I’ve fallen in love all over again this past week. I’m not sure exactly how or when it happened I just know that I’ve caught myself staring and smiling at my husband more than I have in a long time. Perhaps it is just from spending quality time with the one you love and this has made a difference in my attitude.

We have been dealing with Eric’s illness on a daily basis for months now, so it’s only natural for it to create some tension within our relationship. Yet, through it all it’s important we remember what our priorities are and to not lose sight of them and deal with the stress productively.

We have felt blessed as Eric has felt a little stronger, and had a little more energy than usual for an entire week. We have taken advantage of this time and were able to do several enjoyable things together that we’ve missed doing. It’s the simple physical things that we take for granted and we realize this when they are removed from our daily lives.

Some of the things we did this week, in no particular order were.

Another cookout – or as some northerners call it a BBQ with lots of good food.

On the 4th of July, the weather was absolutely perfect so we bravely decided to spend the night out under the stars since we hadn’t done this in ages. Instead of camping out in the woods in sleeping bags on the hard ground, we brought outside a mattress, bed sheets, and blankets and slept on the deck next to the burning firepit. This was my idea of roughing it.



Eric kept the fire stoked as the temperature dropped down to 58° by early morning. It was a miracle in itself there were not any annoying bugs out that night. As we lay warmly snuggled up in our covers, staring at the northern sky in search of the big dipper, we noticed the constellations of stars in view were dimly hiding behind the clouds. The noises we heard were very faint in the distance. There was a low flying jet overhead, some late night firework displays, and a barely noticeable motorcycle sound. A few crickets chirped softly nearby, singing us to sleep. It was a fun night, and we’re looking forward to doing it again, but only when it gets warmer as Eric claims.



We’ve spent several late night hours watching the first season of the China Beach series cuddled up on the couch. I never watched the show when it was originally aired, but I’ve come to enjoy this series now and I can’t wait to see how it ends.

On another night, we had the pleasure of entertaining six young men from the Christian Academy of Arts as our overnight guest. This was the second year they have stayed with us. What a blessing these talented guys were, and the play they preformed was awe inspiring.


Today was an adventuresome day as we went to the park with our 4 ½ year-old grandson Zachary, and we took our three bikes to ride on a bike trail. I’m looking forward to riding the entire distance of six miles one day soon. We couldn’t complete it today as unfortunately one of our bikes got a flat tire.


We also visited a historical site in our community of an enormous 400 + year-old Weeping Beech tree that was incredible. We never knew existed until now.

There was something very special about this week, yet I can’t seem to put my finger on it. I just know that God had his hand in it and tonight as I lay my head on my pillow I will be counting my many blessings and thanking him for my handsome, wonderful husband and the love we share in addition to the time we have to cherish together each day.

A Walk In the Park

For such a long time I have not known how to deal productively with the raw emotions that have overtaken and plagued my mind. Instead of expressing them in a positive manner, I’ve internalized and repressed them. It’s easy to do when you are faced daily with all of the unknowns and the uncertainties that occur from living with my husband’s Cirrhosis. This disease is something I will never understand.

I genuinely want to change these negative feelings and be able to vent to get them out in ways other than tears. I realize this isn’t healthy, and its taking its toll on me emotionally. I know that something has to change, I can’t continue like this. Perhaps this is why I’ve not even had the heart to blog.




It’s been an especially difficult week physically and emotionally for both of us. I have spent numerous hours in prayer seeking God's guidance.

I am grateful that today we’ve turned a corner and have been able to get out of the house, and have some fun together. Escaping the sadness and trying to temporally forget about Eric's illness was exactly what the doctor ordered.

Eric and I went out to lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and spent some quality time adventuring around the park overlooking the waterfront and sightseeing. The weather was perfect as the sun was shining and a cool breeze was blowing as the sailboats sailed smoothly down the river. The view was extraordinary and relaxing.




I’m looking forward to tomorrow and the adventures in our lives it will bring.



The Ben Franklin Bridge in Philadelphia is beautiful at night time.

Pieces of me

What are some words that represents you and your life?

Go to http://www.wordle.net/ to create your own words.

Saying I love you

I don’t really forget to tell my husband that I love him, in fact I tell him many times each day. I just thought this was a good time to tell him again.

Saying I love you, and letting him know just how special he is to me is very important to me.

Do you tell your loved ones that you love them often enough?

Opposites attract

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who is a complete opposite from yourself? My husband and I are this way. We've found it can be interesting, challenging, and even frustrating at times.

He likes the Discovery, National Geographic, and Sci-Fi channels.
I prefer to watch the news, drama and comedies shows.

He’s more into rock and roll, and sings loudly to Bob Dylan.
I'm a little bit country and hum softly to Carrie Underwood.

He listens to the radio.
I am an iPod fan.

He is a night owl, and prefers to start his day at 9 AM.
I am an early riser, and try to get up earlier.

He reads spiritual, historical nonfiction, and things about nature.
I prefer spiritual, inspirational books, and romance.

He favors his quick warm showers.
I love a long hot relaxing bath.

Our list of opposites could go on and on with our different tastes in movies, hobbies, room temperatures, our preferences of driving stick shifts vs. automatic vehicles, truck vs. soccer mom SUV; to him being a proud Yankee, to my southern pride.

One might wonder where the common ground we meet is. First and foremost Eric and I meet over our love for God, secondly our committed love for each other, our families, being one another’s best friend, special fleeting looks, pillow talks and shared laughter only we understand, singing along with Bruce Springsteen, watching Eagles football games, cooking dinner together, romantic walks on the beach, serene picnics at covered bridges, and playing with our precocious grandchildren.

What makes a relationship work when couples appear to be completely opposite from one another? That is a question has been discussed and debated for centuries, and yet I'm not sure there is a single correct answer. However, I genuinely believe that these types of relationships can and do work.

Even though my husband and I are extremely opposite in numerous ways, we feel our strong differences compliment and balance each other out. We each have own diverse characteristics and traits and we often pull strength and learn from the other.

So how does a couple like us, who are so very different, stay happily married? It takes work and we respectfully encourage each other’s differences in our likes and dislikes. Often there are situations that require us to make an effort to view the others opinions with open-minds and be willing to respectfully compromise when the need arises. After many trials and errors we are now better able to express our own thoughts as complimentary attributes.

We have learned to find value in and embrace our differences. Our love allows us to acknowledge each other’s strengths, and overlook flaws. We build each other up to bring out the best in one another mainly through our unique sense of humors and laughter.

We try to give the other enough space and independence, which in turn fosters our feelings and emotions. We try to resist the temptation to be judgmental, and it's not always easy to do when we're both headstrong.

My husband and I share the same dedication for our marriage, and to us, the most important thing is the way we communicate with each other. This doesn’t mean we always understand each other completely or can even see things clearly through the others eyes. There are times when we simply cannot agree on the issue at hand. Yet, neither would ever want to be married to someone exactly like ourselves. We need this variety to nurture and help us to continue to grow closer in our relationship.

Eric said it best when he said, “we are each weaker without the other, and combined our strength exceeds what either could accomplish on our own”.

Many times it’s been said, "Opposites attract", and that old adage may still have some truth to it, but even so, these opposites continue to love each other deeply and wouldn’t change a thing (much) about our mate. I’d say we were well-balanced loving partners who are committed for life. Most importantly we recognize that it is God’s love and blessings that holds us together.

What about you and your partner are you more similar or opposites?

The Beginning of Our Journey

Over the past five weeks my husband, Eric and I have seen several very dark days since learning the devastating news of his illness. We debated whether or not we wanted to share our innermost thoughts, and after discussing it, we have encouraged each other to open ourselves up. We both tend to be private about our personal feelings and sometimes feel uncomfortable speaking outside of our comfort zone. However we feel the time is right to share this with our family and friends.

The love of my life, Eric has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Advanced Cirrhosis, End-stage Liver Disease on January 26, 2009.

I hope you will take the time to read his latest blog entry over at http://onshiftingsands.blogspot.com/ support him in this. I greatly admire his courageous spirit and unfailing humor.

To say it has been an emotional rollercoaster dealing with these feelings is a gross understatement. There aren’t adequate words to express the depths of our worst fears and the emotional upheavals that we’ve recently experienced. When the one you deeply love is suffering, you also feel the agonizing pain they are going through yourself.


He was hospitalized in the Intensive Care Unit listed in critical condition, and we were told by four specialists the extent of his disease, and the dismal prognosis that he would need to have a liver transplant immediately in order to survive. We were stunned this was happening now after he had been sober for several months. I knew immediately our happy lives as we knew it no longer existed. We were stepping off into unknown territories.

I held his hand that night in the ICU and assured him that we would get through this illness together, and I reminded him of our solemn promises we spoke at our wedding ceremony of ‘in sickness and in health for better or for worse ‘17 months ago, we made sacred vows not only to each other but to God as well, and we intend to honor this commitment regardless of the situation.

Later that night after I left the hospital, I came home and immediately fell to my knees beside our bed praying for my critically sick husband asking for God’s mercy, and a miraculous healing for him if it be His will. My faith was the only thing that was sustaining me as I poured my broken heart out to God. Although my mind was not able to form the words to speak I knew that those shed tears were an unspoken language that only He could understand and I know He heard my prayers.

As I lay on the carpet, it was as if I felt the Lord comforting me and saying that I could lay my head on his chest and to release all of my burdens, and tears to Him. I sobbed for hours as I was so deeply distraught as this horrible sickness wasn't in my plans for our lives.

I opened my Bible to seek guidance and immediately felt led to read Jeremiah 29:11-14

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the Lord.

It was no coincidence I turned to that page and read those scriptures. Those few verses spoke directly to my heart, and I felt comforted by them. It was exactly what I needed to read. I kept repeating them over in my head, and I realized that God wasn’t going to fail us. He had just given me more hope. This disease was no surprise to Him. He knew the plans for our lives long before we were even born and He would see us through this. I held on to His written promises right then, and I do even more so today.

It has been heartbreaking to see the other half of my heart become so physically ill, and knowing that I am helpless and powerless over his illness. I realize the most important thing I can do is continue to love and support Eric and pray for him.

We have had good days with shared laughter and bad days filled with lots of tears lately as its obvious his illness is rapidly progressing. Eric is now no longer allowed to drive as his physician has revoked his driving privileges due to some serious complications associated with the disease.

Yesterday his Hepatologist explained that he is now classified with a Child-Pugh score C, which is very disheartening to be told. This is weighing heavily on our minds; our prayers are that he can receive a liver transplant in time. You can read more about this score on the Internet.

I ask that you will please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Writing this entry has been very difficult, and we felt that we owed it to our family and friends to let you know the truth. We don't know what tomorrow holds for us, but we know that we have to lean on a Power that is greater than ourselves, and through our faith, love and support that surrounds us we can get through these terribly difficult times together.

No matter what the outcome we know we have a never ending love story and God has a plan for us and we trust Him.