Compassionate and caring people

I’ve got a lot to be thankful for. I have two of the sweetest girlfriends. They know how busy I have been lately, they kindly cooked us a delicious dinner and baked us a friendship bread loaf. I love them to pieces Cindy and Angela, you girls are the best. We really enjoyed your kindness, and greatly appreciated it.



It’s been another chaotic week around our home as our days have been spent at the rehab center, the hospital and the doctor’s office while trying to maintain some sense of normalcy around our home.

My sweet husband, Eric was feeling extremely weak from the Hepatic Encephalopathy, and because he was lightheaded, he took a nosedive and fell hard onto the hardwood floor causing him to injure his ribs, knee, and right side. Thankfully no ribs were broken, but were bruised and his pulled muscle is very painful. He isn’t one to complain often. But I can clearly see he’s hurting from the look on his face.

He’s struggling to function on minimal sleep. Last night was no exception as he had another sleepless night. I try to stay awake with him whenever possible. There are some nights when we’re both up all night long.

It’s obvious the cirrhosis is progressing, and is taking its toll on his body and his doctor has recommended he purchase a walking cane to assist him. He also has advised against him driving for the time being until his ammonia levels are stabilized into a more normal range. Recently his blood test showed these levels were five times higher than they should normally be, thus causing the sleep deprivation, and light headiness.

I am praying that he will soon get a liver transplant and will feel like his old self again. It’s painful to watch the one you love suffer. The emotions we deal with are all over the place. One doctor has suggested we write about our feeling about his disease, and thought that blogging would be a good release for us. So we're going to try to take his advice and let our blogs be an emotional outlet for us.

Eric's blog can be found at...

http://www.onshiftingsands.blogspot.com/

We really like his liver specialist he is such a caring physician. He genuinely cares for his patients. Each month when see him, after he has completed his physical exam on Eric, he invites into his office. There he usually spends about an hour with us discussing Eric’s disease and what we can expect, etc. Most doctors I have seen haven't typically spend this much time with their patients.

Writer's Block

I have Writer's Block with nothing much to say at the moment. I suppose its mainly because my sick family members are my main prioriety at the moment, and my blogging will have to take a back seat for today.

Update on My Mother-in-Love

I have waited for this day to come for such a long time, it has rained for weeks. Spring has finally found its way to our area this past week, and I savored my time outdoors in the sunshine, the temperature finally reached 90° for a few days.

I took advantage of it, and spent an hour relaxing on the riding mower while cutting the lawn. I enjoy doing this task. I had a lot on my mind and needed some alone time to think. Plus there is something gratifying about seeing the end results of your work in the neat straight lines cut in the grass, and beautiful flowers blooming across the yard.

As I was zooming across the backyard on the mower, I thought about my sweet mother-in-love (law) who always enjoyed sitting on the deck and watching me. She always reminds me that she loved the smell of fresh cut grass.

I wonder if she will ever get the opportunity to smell fresh cut grass again.

Mom is still in the rehab center undergoing physical and speech therapy due to her recent stroke three weeks ago. Unexpectedly, her health has rapidly declined she is very frail at only 90 lbs.

We were told by her doctors that she is no longer physically able to do the therapy, and will need to go into hospice care somewhere very soon. They believe she only has a matter of a few days or weeks left. This was painful for us to hear this news, and breaks our hearts.

We are selfish and are not ready to give her up, and we’ve all decided we want to bring mom back home. This is the one place where she was the happiest and at peace. Mom lives with us, (independently) in an in-law suite that is attached to our home. She loves spending her time with her cat, putting puzzles together or quietly sitting in her chair looking at her family photographs. She also she enjoys looking out her large bay window, or slider glass door across the deck to see her bird houses, and enjoys the squirrels playing in the yard. This is where she belongs.

Lately mom has been sleeping day and night, and hasn’t always recognized us, and sometimes she thinks that we are someone different from her past, people that we do not know. She refuses to eat most of the time, and has been in a great deal of pain from her arthritis in her hip and leg.

Today was a good day as she ate plus she even remembered us. We actually had a nice conversation and she was fully aware of her surroundings.

We took her outside in a wheelchair yesterday to feel the warmth of the sunshine and she gave us a beautiful little smile, and after 10 minutes she asked to be put back into her bed. It was too much for her, she is so weak.

We’re just hoping for as many good days as we can possibly get with her and pray for her daily.

She is more than just a mother in law she is one of my very best friends, and a faithful prayer partner.

I thank God for allowing me to be a part of this special ladies life.

Defining Myself

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what defines us as individuals, what our God given talents are, and this made me wonder who I am, and how others perceive me. Then I realized it doesn’t really matter how others perceive me, what is more important is what I think of myself.

My self-definition could be many unlimited things because I am completely different from anyone else. It’s all in our own diversity. Physically I may appear to look like others, but inside I am not the same.

Am I defined by being a 49-year old white American woman? Does being a happily married woman, a born again Christian, a daughter, a mother, a grandmother, a sister and a friend define me? I don’t believe material possessions have anything to do with who I am. I am not defined by a title from an employer or by initials behind my name from my education, or from my passion for reading or my DNA.

Do my dreams and aspirations play a role in the person I will become?

I am defined by being true to myself – a child of God.

I feel that my roots, my life experiences, religious beliefs, decisions and mistakes I’ve made have each enhance the woman I am today. Every day I face new choices, challenges, and this in turn keeps me constantly changing. I am thankful I am not the same person I was a few ago, and I am sure I will not be the same person in the months and years to come.

I think my self-definition has more to do with my personal beliefs, the way I treat people, and how I’m treated, and my reactions to others. I hope I never stop this constant journey of exploring the woman I am, while learning, and growing to becoming a strong confident individual and be all that I know I can be.

I think it’s important what I choose to believe about myself, my character, and what Christ wants me to achieve in life.

But in the end, all that really matters is what God thinks of Debi.

He is Risen

I know that Christ is alive because He lives deep within my heart.

Happy Easter to you and yours.

A Family Emergency

Three days ago, my sweet, elderly mother-in-love has suddenly experienced an intracerebral hemorrhage, or a "bleeding stroke." This was caused by a burst blood vessel in the brain. Mom is almost 86 years old, and needs all the prayers she can get right now.

The doctors recommended that she be transferred from our local community hospital to a specialty hospital in Philadelphia for surgery to remove the pressure off of the brain. However she declined it. She doesn’t want to endure this procedure, even though her prognosis is very poor. There is a 50% chance the bleeding will continue. We were told the surgery would not prolong her life.

Mom is extremely confused, with slurred speech, and her right side is very weak to the point of almost being immobile, her blood pressure is through the roof it is so high. It breaks our hearts seeing her lie helpless as she is.

Today she has been transferred to a stroke rehabilitation hospital. By working with speech, occupational, and physical therapist we’re hoping this will help her learn to talk again and hopefully regain some muscle strength in her right arm and leg.

Please lift our family up in your prayers and good thoughts at this time.

We are indeed facing some strong winds in our lives these days.

When the Wind Blows Through Your Life

My husband often says “I will sleep well on a windy night” and until the underling meaning to the phrase was explained to me, I did not understand it completely. I do now.

Can you sleep when the wind blows?

Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops. As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals

Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. “Are you a good farm hand?” the farmer asked him.”Well, I can sleep when the wind blows,” answered the little man.

Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man’s work.

Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand’s sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, “Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!”

The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, “No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows.”

Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm. To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down.

Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

When you’re prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically, you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through your life?

The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he had secured the farm against the storm. We secure ourselves against the storms of life by making the necessary preparations and hanging on to our faith in our God. We don’t need to understand, we just need to trust and to have peace in the middle of storms.

-author unknown-

I hope you enjoy your day and you sleep well tonight, I know that along with Eric I will sleep well also, even as the strong winds are blowing in our lives right now.