Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Heal the wound but leave the scar

Today is a very emotional day for me and I’m struggling to put into words what my heavy heart is feeling.

I created this blog as a place where I can express my feelings and yet, I don’t know how to do this, I don’t understand what is preventing me from purging my thoughts into this blog.

I lay in bed in the early hours of the morning earlier today trying to sort out these emotions and failed, all l I could do was weep and pray in the darkness. God alone knows what is best for me, and I know that he has a reason for the pain my family is experiencing.

My loss of self is unexplainable and still I question, is this our destiny?

I feel broken today, like no one else understands how I am feeling. I have such an open bleeding wound inside my heart, yet there is a deeper scar that remains.

My head knows that God is gracious, and he understands the depths of my pain, but today my heart doesn’t feel comforted. I keep remembering a song and it's message speaks volumes to me.

"Heal the Wound but Leave the Scar"

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering.

Maybe this is what I am seeking today… a reminding scar from a healed wound.


  1. Debi, there are times when sadness will weight me down. It's okay to feel sad and to cry. Those emotions need to come out. And from there, I can start to move forward and to see some gratitude for the things that are good in my life. Doing a gratitude list every day is a big help.

  2. Debi .....i read your blog, and feel your pain ..and wish i were closer, and we could just sit down and talk ....that you could pour out all the things that are in your head and in your heart, and that I could make them all better. God only gives obstacles to those that he is sure can handle them, and you and I have both had our share ...The love you and Eric share is unique, and special and God realizes this, and he is helping you stregthen that love by putting these roadblocks in your way. As hard as it is to deal with on a daily basis, this struggle will make you closer, and your future will be determined by how you cope. I wish you all the best, my friend, and I pray for both of you daily. I am so sorry about Erics mom ..but know that she is in a better place, and she's watching over you. I love you, my friend.

  3. God has His plan, and it's not for us to know or understand His reasons. I know you know this, and I know it's hard to apply that knowledge when it impacts our lives so critically.

    Try to remember one of the most fundamental of prayers: "Lord, give me the strength to change the things that can be changed, the patience to accept the things that cannot be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the difference."

    Surrender to His will, however it manifests itself, and live life one blessed day at a time.

    You have a tremendous support group of people who know, love, and care for both you and Eric, among whom are Syd and Jacqui above me, and, truly, myself as well.

    On a slightly different note, I must say I really like the light and cheery format of your blog here! Good job selecting the background!

    Blessings and prayers

  4. Debi,

    You feel like you're suspended in a cloud of grief and helplessness and it seems surreal to watch others go about their daily business. Even the sunlight somehow seems to be oblivious to what you're going through.

    No...I haven't exactly walked in your shoes, but I know the feeling all too well.

    Since I can't be there to wrap my arms around you myself, I pray that God gathers you up in His arms and offers some comfort and peace.

    I love you, Dear Friend. (((HUGS)))

  5. Debi, I believe that every situation we are placed into in our lives is a lesson to be learned (or a series of them). We may never understand exactly why we are faced with troubles; all we can do is try to learn as much from them as we can, and bear them as gracefully as we can. That doesn't mean you can share your pain with others, and to do so often lessens the stress. Pour your heart out here.