Sunday, June 7, 2009

Opposites attract

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who is a complete opposite from yourself? My husband and I are this way. We've found it can be interesting, challenging, and even frustrating at times.

He likes the Discovery, National Geographic, and Sci-Fi channels.
I prefer to watch the news, drama and comedies shows.

He’s more into rock and roll, and sings loudly to Bob Dylan.
I'm a little bit country and hum softly to Carrie Underwood.

He listens to the radio.
I am an iPod fan.

He is a night owl, and prefers to start his day at 9 AM.
I am an early riser, and try to get up earlier.

He reads spiritual, historical nonfiction, and things about nature.
I prefer spiritual, inspirational books, and romance.

He favors his quick warm showers.
I love a long hot relaxing bath.

Our list of opposites could go on and on with our different tastes in movies, hobbies, room temperatures, our preferences of driving stick shifts vs. automatic vehicles, truck vs. soccer mom SUV; to him being a proud Yankee, to my southern pride.

One might wonder where the common ground we meet is. First and foremost Eric and I meet over our love for God, secondly our committed love for each other, our families, being one another’s best friend, special fleeting looks, pillow talks and shared laughter only we understand, singing along with Bruce Springsteen, watching Eagles football games, cooking dinner together, romantic walks on the beach, serene picnics at covered bridges, and playing with our precocious grandchildren.

What makes a relationship work when couples appear to be completely opposite from one another? That is a question has been discussed and debated for centuries, and yet I'm not sure there is a single correct answer. However, I genuinely believe that these types of relationships can and do work.

Even though my husband and I are extremely opposite in numerous ways, we feel our strong differences compliment and balance each other out. We each have own diverse characteristics and traits and we often pull strength and learn from the other.

So how does a couple like us, who are so very different, stay happily married? It takes work and we respectfully encourage each other’s differences in our likes and dislikes. Often there are situations that require us to make an effort to view the others opinions with open-minds and be willing to respectfully compromise when the need arises. After many trials and errors we are now better able to express our own thoughts as complimentary attributes.

We have learned to find value in and embrace our differences. Our love allows us to acknowledge each other’s strengths, and overlook flaws. We build each other up to bring out the best in one another mainly through our unique sense of humors and laughter.

We try to give the other enough space and independence, which in turn fosters our feelings and emotions. We try to resist the temptation to be judgmental, and it's not always easy to do when we're both headstrong.

My husband and I share the same dedication for our marriage, and to us, the most important thing is the way we communicate with each other. This doesn’t mean we always understand each other completely or can even see things clearly through the others eyes. There are times when we simply cannot agree on the issue at hand. Yet, neither would ever want to be married to someone exactly like ourselves. We need this variety to nurture and help us to continue to grow closer in our relationship.

Eric said it best when he said, “we are each weaker without the other, and combined our strength exceeds what either could accomplish on our own”.

Many times it’s been said, "Opposites attract", and that old adage may still have some truth to it, but even so, these opposites continue to love each other deeply and wouldn’t change a thing (much) about our mate. I’d say we were well-balanced loving partners who are committed for life. Most importantly we recognize that it is God’s love and blessings that holds us together.

What about you and your partner are you more similar or opposites?


  1. I would say that we are more similar than opposite. We also have great respect for each other. And a lot of dedication. I believe that my life has been made better because of my wife.

  2. We are more opposite than we are similar, but after almost 45 years, it doesn't matter one bit.